Sample Essay - Money is the Root of All Evil. Do you agree?

In this blog, I will demonstrate writing an essay by utilising the techniques. I will show you a sample argumentative essay (there are a few patterns of essays you need to know in English 1119 and this section will be discussed on the coming blogs)I have written in Form 4. This essay was my mentor teacher's favourite and was published in my school magazine in 2007(in Form 5).

The title is:-

"Money is the root of all evil. Do you agree?"

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What is money? I bet that everyone knows "money" very well. In short, money is the medium in a trade. Yes, money is nothing but only a medium in a trade. Hence, I totally disagree that money is the root of all evil. Money itself is not an evil, it is harmless. In fact, evil comes from money users, that is, we, human beings!

Again, money is an object, a medium in a trade and it is harmless. It is labelled "an evil" because of human beings - their evil thoughts and actions! Because of money, a lot of crimes occur like robbery, snatch, theft and burglary. People are willing to commit crimes mentioned because of their greed. They desire wealth, status and power. Laconically, greed in mankind leads them to crimes, but not money!

Take gambling for instance - a game, which requires people to risk their money, in order to get more! Wow, we could win a big amount of money in a gamble if we are fortunate enough! We could "earn" money without working! How wonderful it is! Obviously, most people will risk their money in gabling, in the hope to win great amount of money. Like the Chinese saying goes, if a little money does not go out, great money will not come in. Because of this sort of saying, most people especially Chinese are willing to risk their "little money" to win "great money". Some compulsive gamblers may encounter bankruptcies as a result of indulging themselves in gambling. Is this money's fault? No, it is not! It is the fault of humans - their evil thoughts! In general, greed, again, causes evil, not money.

Maladministration is also an evil caused by human beings. Why do they do so? Without doubt, they want to gain profit, namely, money! Unscrupulous businessmen, for example, give priority to profit rather than the quality of products or services. For instance, this has provoked a furore among Malaysians, that is, chemicals were used on hogs to make them fatter. This is a maladministration done by the farmers in Malaysia. In order to earn more money, they ignored the health of consumers and injected chemicals into hogs' body to make them fat quickly.

As a conclusion, evil is not caused by money. Money looks like ab evil because it is used by "evil" humans to accomplish their "evil" plans like the points mentioned above. Consequently, humans themselves are considered as the root of all evil, money is only a "victim".

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Discussion:

1. Starting from the second paragraph, which is the beginning of the body, you can see that each paragraph only contains 1 main idea.

For example,
2nd paragraph - the main idea is about crimes. Humans commit crimes due to money.
3rd paragraph - the main idea is about gambling. Humans gamble for money.
4rd paragraph - then main idea is about maladministration(=dishonest business management).

2. In the essay, you can notice that there is a variety of sentence structures - simple, compound and complex sentences.

3. To make the essay flow smoothly, conjunctions and logical connectors are used.

Demonstration on the Usage of Conjunctions, Logical and Sequence Connectors

From the previous blog, you have learnt about conjunctions, logical and sequence connectors. However, it only shows the categories and also the function of each category.

In this blog, I will show you one example of the usage of each category.

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Conjunctions

1. To show things of similar functional value - I love dancing and singing.

2. To show contrast - Adam is clever but he is lazy.

3. To show concession - Although he is lazy, he is clever.
(Note: unlike Chinese and Malay language, never use "but" after using "although", "though", etc.)

4. To indicate alternatives - What do you want? Coffee or tea?

5. To show reason - Alice was absent yesterday because she was sick.

6. To indicate purpose - School bullying has been a hot issue lately. Measures must be taken in order to solve this problem.

7. To express time - Please give me a call when you arrive.

8. To indicate condition - If you want to succeed, you have to be hardworking.

9. To indicate place - My dog follows me wherever I go.

10. To indicate result - You did the mistake so you must be responsible for that.

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Logical Connectors

1. To show connection between actions and consequences - Albert is a mischievous kid. As a result, his friends always stay away from him.

2. To show contrasting ideas - Ms. Samantha is a dedicated teacher. However, she is bad-tempered.

3. To introduce a new idea or provide extra information - I don't really want to go. Besides, it is too late now.

4. To introduce a similar idea - The United States won most of the track and field events. Similarly, in swimming, the top three places went to Americans.

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Sequence Connectors

To get to the museum, first, go straight along this street. Then, turn left when you reach a T-junction. After that, go straight again and you will reach the museum.

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Techniques of Writing (Part 4) - Cohesiveness

The flow of an essay is very important as it will make the essay lively and sound better. This can be done by using conjunctions, logical and sequence connectors.

Refer to the link below (Technique 4 - Cohesiveness from page 4 to 5) to learn about conjunctions, logical and sequence connectors.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/53262416/Techniques-of-Writing

The examples of the usage of the conjunctions, logical and sequence connectors will be shown on the next blog. Stay tuned.

Techniques of Writing (Part 3) - Sentence Structures

In an essay, it must have a variety of sentence structures. Without it, the essay will become flat in tone and dull. Besides, a variety of sentence structures is one of the criteria to determine the grade of an essay.

Basically, there are 3 kinds of sentence structures:
1) Simple sentences
2) Compound sentences
3) Complex sentences

Simple sentences
Examples:
 I like to eat bananas.
 Water is important to humans.

Compound sentences
Examples:
 I like to eat bananas because they are tasty.
 Water is important to humans as their bodies contain 70% of water.

Complex sentences
Examples:
 I like to eat bananas, which are sold at markets rather than malls, because they are fresher and tastier.
 Water is important to humans as their bodies contain 70% of water, so they have to drink at least eight glasses of water everyday to maintain the amount of water in their bodies.

Techniques of Writing (Part 2) - Components in a Story (Narrative Writing)

A story is also composed of 3 parts:
 Beginning
 Climax
 Ending

In SPM narrative writing, the questions are mostly stated in either:

1) Write a story that begins with…/Write a story beginning with…

OR

2) Write a story that ends with…/Write a story ending with…

Sometimes, the questions are given like “an embarrassing experience” and “a memorable camping trip”.

For every paragraph including the beginning, climax, and ending, make sure that every paragraph has only 1 focus. In other words, in one paragraph, you can only mention about one particular event.

For example:

A ray of warm sunlight hit my face and birds started to chirp happily. My heavy eyelids slowly opened. I woke up and got down from my bed vulnerably and lazily, stretching my body and giving a lazy yawn. I went towards the window and opened it. Wow, what a wonderful morning!

(Here, the focus is that morning came. Before the sentence “wow, what a wonderful morning!” all the sentences are used to emphasize that morning was here.)

Techniques of Writing (Part 1) - Components in an Essay

In English 1119 Paper 1, there are two sections, Sections A and B, whereby Section A is directed writing (35 marks) and the latter is continuous writing (50 marks). To score well in this paper, apart from being good in the language, some techniques are required. In this blog, I will share one of the techniques - components in an essay.
Basically, this skill is best used in argumentative, factual and expository writing.

An essay must contain:
(i) an introduction,
(ii) body/content, and
(iii) a conclusion

An essay must have at least 5 paragraphs:
 1 for the introduction and 1 for the conclusion
 At least 3 for the content

For the content, each paragraph must have 1 main idea and its elaboration/supporting details.

The basic skills to elaborate the main idea are using “wh-“questions like what, why, who, when, how, and giving some examples.

Example:
Main idea: I like to eat bananas.

1) Ask yourself, why you like eating bananas?
Answer: They are tasty and their skins are easy to be peeled off.

2) Ask yourself, how much you like bananas?
Answer: Everyday, I must eat at least three bananas, that is, one after breakfast; one after lunch; and one after dinner. (The phrases in italics are examples)

Hence, when you write in a paragraph:
I like to eat bananas. It is because they are tasty and their skins are easy to be peeled off. Everyday, I must eat at least three bananas, that is, one after breakfast; one after lunch; and one after dinner.